Saturday, October 25, 2008

I believe that there are some things people do entirely for their own sake, without possibility of ulterior motive or obfuscated goal. For instance, I make small yet hilarious edits on Wikipedia -- an altered verb, a few letters here or there -- with the requirements that 1) the edit is in the article's introduction and 2) it drastically changes the entry's meaning (in the patently false direction).

I get too much satisfaction from every such sabotage surviving more than a year -- what does it say about the thousands of careful readers, and their thousands of edits since? What does it mean for their ontological and epistemic reality -- is there a certain lifespan, a minimum readership, that allows an untested conjecture to graduate to truth? Of course not. But someone, somewhere out there, believes.

These edits bring me a solitary sort of joy, which keeps me smiling long after most have gone to sleep. This joy is my own: I'm friends with several of the Wiki admins, so if I ever share the edits I made, they'll be fixed. If I ever explain the rules of my game, I won't be able to play. It is a joyful abstraction I can never share, except in the name of the anonymous. I do it for the lulz -- And the lulz are enough...

Friday, October 24, 2008

The Top 10 Philosophy Questions of All Time, Answered!

10. How do I know anything really exists?
Kick it *really* hard.
9. What is the essence of being human?
Not understanding the opposite sex.
8. If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.
7. How do I know I'm not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life?
Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.
6. Can our minds exist seperately from our bodies?
If they could, we'd send our minds to class and sleep in every morning.
5. Is there a God?
A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
4. What is the nature of Knowledge?
I'm still trying to figure out the nature of *college*.
3. What is the meaning of life?
All evidence to date suggests it's probably chocolate.
2. Why get a Philosophy degree?
It's more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.
1. So, was Kant on drugs or what?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

For Sale: One soul. Price negotiable. Assembly required.